2016 Top Ten: Worst Movies – Wyatt

Continuing on with this week, we are now removing all of our demons this year with the worst films of 2016, so that way we can talk about all the great moments 2016 had to offer.  Before the good, we have to talk about the bad, and there was quite a bit of it, so let’s get started with the countdown of the ten worst movies of 2016.

Dishonorable Mentions

 Just missing the list, we have “Dirty Grandpa”, the movie that started 2016 for me, and it started my year with a dud.  There’s also “Max Steel”, a garbage attempt at a superhero movie that doesn’t work whatsoever.  Finally, we have “The Sea of Trees”, a film that was booed out of the Cannes Film Festival, and for good reason.  That film falls into the brutally cheesy territory by the end, but even that can’t make this year’s list of shame.

Top 10 Worst Movies of 2016

nine-lives

10.) “Nine Lives”

Starting off this list is a film that is on here simply because it exists.  A movie starring Kevin Spacey and Christopher Walken that has Spacey turn into a cat, I mean of course it sucks but just think about the fact that this movie was made.  Spacey sounds like he wants to go home from start to finish and the comedy is repetitive and unfunny, and it all adds together to make one truly bad movie.


 

now-you-see-me-2

9.) “Now You See Me 2”

I hate this franchise, I hate it.  The first movie was bad enough, but “Now You See Me 2” just pushed me over the edge.  An absurd storyline followed by iffy performances, not to mention that Woody Harrelson has a twin brother that is also played by Woody Harrelson I mean are you f***ing serious?   Jon Chu should stick to those Bieber documentaries because this movie is a pile of trash.


 

absolutely-fabulous

8.) “Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie”

Unless you’re a massive fan of the TV show that this thing is based on, you probably don’t even know what this movie is.  I have never seen the show, and now I never want to, because this was one of the most annoying film experiences of the year.  Mean humor that is mean without being funny may be the worst form of comedy there is, and that is all that this film consists of.  I know that this was not a movie made for me, but that doesn’t mean I should have hated it so much, so “Absolutely Fabulous” absolutely had to be on this list.


 

allegiant

7.) “Allegiant”

“Divergent” was okay, “Insurgent” was bad, but “Allegiant” was completely insufferable.  It is so easy to tell that all of these actors are simply stuck in a contract at this point, as each of them has moved on to much bigger and much better things than this series.  The plot is so familiar to other superior young adult series’ it is laughable, and the fact that this movie singlehandedly drove the final film in the franchise into becoming a TV movie should say it all.  “Allegiant” is the final straw that broke the camel’s back on this dull series of films.


 

do-over

6.) “The Do-Over”

What would a top 10 worst of the year list be without my friend, Adam Sandler?  His second Netflix original film in his massive contract was obviously terrible, but I felt that this one had some potential.  David Spade isn’t the worst thing here, but Sandler is, as every time there’s a chance the movie could do something good, Sandler comes in with a dirty joke to ruin every shred of dignity this movie has.  Keep these trash heaps on Netflix, Sandler, at least I don’t have to pay extra to see them.


 

warcraft

5.) “Warcraft”

Duncan Jones, why did you do this to me?  The director of “Source Code” and “Moon”, two amazing films, to come out and make this is just depressing.  “Warcraft” does everything that video game movies always do, and it makes the film almost unbearable to watch.  Shotty editing, a jumbled, confusing storyline, and a dreadfully boring movie that tries to overstuff all of its hours of story into one film is just the tip of the iceberg of things wrong with “Warcraft”.  I thought this could break the awful video game movie chain, but instead it might actually be one of the worst adaptations yet.


 

gods-of-egypt

4.) “Gods of Egypt”

Yeah, “Gods of Egypt” is really not good, stunning, isn’t it?  When the movie isn’t laughably bad from pure ridiculousness, it is dreadfully boring, with a plot that I couldn’t care less about.  The choices that the director makes here are hysterical, but not in an intentional way, and not even Gerard Butler’s hilariously bad acting could make this movie watchable from start to finish.


 

the-choice

3.) “The Choice”

A movie I almost walked out of, “The Choice” is easily the worst Nicholas Sparks adaptation to date.  There is no chemistry between the two leads, and the romance is unbearably cheesy, and it leads to a film that has no substance to it whatsoever.  The movie is boring, sure, but it is the horrendous conclusion that brings this film all the way up to the bronze medal.  The end is so corny, so preposterous, and so bad, that I have nothing but hate in my heart for this disaster of a romance film.


 

Norm-of-the-North

2.) “Norm of the North”

This lovely January release featured Rob Schneider as a twerking polar bear, so that’s something.  Seriously, not one thing in this movie is anything better that atrocious.  Even the animation is complete garbage, as it looks like it was taken from a vault back in the early 1990s.  The storyline is boring, the jokes either fall flat on their face or are plain offensive, and I honestly cannot believe there is a movie worse this year than “Norm of the North”.  Nothing comes even remotely close to working in this film, but at least this was expected garbage, this was never something I had wanted to be good, so I wasn’t surprised by the end result.


 

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1.) “Collateral Beauty”

“Collateral Beauty” is the worst movie of 2016 for various reasons.  For one, the film is terrible, truly horrible.  Two, there’s a loaded cast involved, so my expectations were actually pretty high, so for a movie to suck that hard while having some lofty hopes for it, that makes the pain even harder to deal with.  The main reason I had to put this movie above the god awful “Norm of the North” is because it is a lie.  The marketing is a complete and total misrepresentation of what this movie’s actually about, and that is completely unforgivable.  The plot is stupid, the drama is forced and has no lasting effect, and the movie has no idea what the feeling of heartbreak and loss really feels like.  “Collateral Beauty” is offensively bad, and certainly made me angrier than any other film that I saw this year, which is why it falls on the very bottom of this list.

Do you agree?  Disagree?  What was the worst movie you saw in 2016?  Comment below with your thoughts.  


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