“Rings”: A Horrific Failure

rings-sucks

“Rings” is directed by F. Javier Gutiérrez and stars Matilda Lutz, Alex Roe, Johnny Galecki, and Vincent D’Onofrio.  The film is about a young girl and her boyfriend who end up becoming cursed by a video that threatens to kill them after seven days.

This is a movie that I was skeptically hopeful for, as the original “Ringu” and even the US version, “The Ring” are considered very solid horror films, and the marketing behind this movie was clever and incredibly effective, and, while early horror films are a risk, there seemed to be a lot of backing involved with this film.

The Good

There’s a moment towards the final act that has a twist in the plot, and it was a surprise that I thought was somewhat clever, even if rather obvious.  This moment, this five seconds where a twist is revealed, is the only moment that is even remotely positive about the entire film.

The Bad

This film is almost completely unwatchable from start to finish, as nearly every move the actors, director, and screenwriters make are completely and utterly atrocious.  Let’s start with the acting, I guess, as there are simply terrible performances from both the lead actors.  The best performance is by Johnny Galecki, aka Leonard from “The Big Bang Theory”, and even he is iffy, but at least he doesn’t overcook and brutally destroy nearly every line from the script like both Matilda Lutz and Alex Roe do, as these two are some of the most painful performances I have seen in recent memory.

Moving to the direction, F. Javier Gutiérrez completely destroys any hopes for this horror movie to be genuinely scary by bogging down nearly the entire movie with useless exposition and overly long moments where absolutely nothing important is happening.  This isn’t even really a horror movie, as there are two or three scenes maximum that are even supposed to be scary, and they are not effective in the slightest.  The scariest part of any of these movies is the little girl, as she is terrifying when she slowly walks closer and closer to her victim, but this movie doesn’t even understand that, as she is used like two times, each holding no suspense or fear whatsoever.

The script, which is full of brutal, on the nose dialogue, wooden jokes, and loads of exposition, is horrific.  The actors definitely do not help the script along, but these performers also can’t do much with the pile of crap they are forced to say, so it’s hard to put full blame on either party, so I am okay with saying both equally sucked.

With “The Bye Bye Man”, a very bad horror film that came out just last month, at least there is a bit of an effort to make scares, and at least when it failed, it failed in a way that was hysterical to watch.  The problem with “Rings” is that it is simply boring to watch from virtually start to finish.  There is so much unnecessary exposition that is vomited onto the screen that no time is left for suspense to be built, and therefore almost nothing is scary whatsoever.  This is a scary concept, and it is one that has led to genuine horror in the past, so the fact that “Rings” is completely lacking in any fear at all is a total disgrace to the horror genre.

Like I said, this is a movie that is dreadful to sit through, that is, until the absolute final scene of the movie.  This is the peak of the film, because it is so catastrophically bad that I was in tears from laughter by the time the credits rolled.  This is a moment that is meant to be scary and meant to set up a sequel, but it ends up being so sloppily put together and lacking any sense in the world that it is a truly hysterical moment.

Quite possibly the worst part of this train wreck of a movie is that its’ trailers completely spoil the ending, while also showing scenes that are not in the movie whatsoever.  I won’t say which moments are which, though I should save you the time and money and say avoid this movie like the plague, but one of the scarier parts of the trailer is the absolute final shot in this film, which takes away all the suspense that could have been created.  This final scene is laughably awful, but at least it could have been surprising, but the film couldn’t even create their trailer right, let alone a feature film.

Conclusion

“Rings” is horrible, terrible, unforgivable and awful.  This is a horror movie that is not scary and features terrible performances, a horrid script, and a director who thinks this film needed to be almost entirely exposition.  There is not one scene that is remotely good, even with a semi-decent twist, as every scene is bogged down by boring moments that lead nowhere, and a total lack of anything that could even be considered scary.  This is one of the worst horror movies I have ever seen, and cannot stress enough how much I truly hate everything about it.  Don’t go anywhere towards “Rings”, you deserve better.

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(SPOILER ALERT)

Don’t get tickets and showtimes for “Rings” here

Don’t see “Rings”, but if you did, what did you think of it?  Comment below with your thoughts.


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